10 days till Poland.

I’m nervous. 10 days till I land in another country. 16 days till this.

I’ve never taken a trip like this before. I’ve never competed in anything this serious before. I’ve never really spent this much money on one thing before. I’ve never been somewhere where I don’t speak the local language. It’s intimidating.

I’m worried about my ability to keep up. I’ve only been at this for 5 months really. 4 months of fitness training prior to my first steel bout and 2 years of SCA before that. That’s less than 3 total years fighting and the best fighters have been at this steel game far longer. I’m expected to stand up to them. I feel the pressure to beat them knowing they are better skilled and more experienced. It’s a new experience for me. Real pressure. Real stakes. I have to live up to other people’s view of me, not just my own. Failure is not just affecting me, it’s affecting the whole team, even the guys back home supporting us who couldn’t come.

All this extra build-up. All these nerves. And yet I sit here knowing that when the time comes, that won’t matter. When the steel flies that’s all I’ll think about. I wish it was today. I’m always more comfortable with some one trying to crush me under there heel than I am sitting and waiting. I guess all I can do is keep training, keep studying, keep eating right. Stay focused. The goal is in sight. Can’t get to excited yet.

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