PMP Life

NSFW, probably, I don’t know where you work or what you consider safe. You’re only warning though, I may get crude.


Sometimes Me and My boys will throw around the Hashtag PMP or just drop the TLA(Three Letter Acronym) in casual conversation. Figured I might want to explain that shit for any who care. PMP is a bit of word play on Pimp(particularly 50’s classic P.I.M.P.) and an Acronym for Pussy Money Pride. It seems juvenile…and it is. It’s part of that, both ironic and earnest, appreciation for Ghetto Criminal culture the suburbs manifests. It is also a form of ignorant locker room talk that all gyms and teams engage in. However it’s is actually a bit more. There’s a real philosophy behind it and it really is a guiding principle in at least my life.

Before I dig deep into it, let’s discuss pussy. Much like the 90’s anthem of Cuckolding OPP the Pussy can be substituted for Penis if that’s the genitalia of choice. No Discrimination. Worshiping the pole of manflesh is just as good as praying inside the caves of girlmeat. See that’s what these are, the 3 pillars of godhood I subscribe too, a Holy Trinity of Sin, Sensations, and Secular concerns. Anyone who gets pedantic about that last one can come kneel before the altar between my legs.

Like so many good things in life, my dedication to this philosophy came while bullshitting one evening. This evening came in the the midst of a long transformation that ended with me losing the last bit of faith I had and turning from some form of agnostic diest to a fairly diehard Atheist. Cat, pretty much out of nowhere as is his wont, delivered a very short sermon.  “There are only 3 god’s that every man worships. Pussy, Money, and Pride.”

Since Cat is objectively the wisest man I know, I decided to give the idea serious merit and we discussed for a while and over the course of the next few weeks, if this was a truth he had stumbled upon, or just a fun joke to say. Before determining the answer we of course pitched the Dogma to the rest of the ACL crew, as the only things worth caring about. Because it’s not like there’s ever a good reason to take anything we say seriously and anyone who does deserves whatever comes to them.

As the idea became more prevalent though and our lives began to take the shape of the path steel fighting was opening for us(or we opened for steel fighting, hard to determine) we became more convinced that it was not just good old fashion Christ trolling, but an actual worthwhile life view. Like all religions though it requires doing more than following the literal truth and actually examining the metaphor.

Pussy, is of course, not the literal organ, as we have already discussed, since Penis can play the same part. But it’s not just genitalia either, which wouldn’t work because GMP suggests things we ain’t so much about for ourselves, though no judgment on others. You do you boo.  No, Pussy is both Lust and Love. It’s companionship but also play. To worship Pussy you could simply just have alot of sex…or you could do acts that fill that same role in your brain pan. Sex is great for lots of reasons but the biggest might be Oxytocin, the chemical that tricks you into thinking love is really anything more than an addiction to a specific flavor of chemical release. And you can get that from all sorts of things, like just hugging your friends. Or even strangers.

Sex is more than just a chemical release though. Ever notice how when someone fucks you right you care less about their Bullshit and care more about their inane life events and sometimes even think their feelings matter? There’s a reason for that…probably a chemical one, probably Oxytocin, but fuck science, we talking religion here. The point is Pussy isn’t just about that good good feeling of tight warm flesh wrapped around your dick. It’s also about them dumb emotions you feel afterwards. Cause that cuddle glow is great and anyone who doesn’t admit that is a robot or a psychopath and you should probably kill them just in case. The point is Pussy is physical. It’s exceedingly physical. But it’s also you emotional and communal needs. Make sure you are tending to your fun, you pleasure, whether that be something romantic and sexual or some type of platonic enjoyment of others company or even just enjoying a video game. Pussy is fun. Make sure you’re getting it.

Money…that’s the easy one. Money is already a metaphor. It’s a meaningless truth we’ve all agreed should act as a stand in for the value of our property, time, output, thought, etc. Money is just power. The ability to turn theoretical value into actual value. Any if you want to survive you need that. If you want to thrive you need that. You can’t enjoy pussy if you can’t get the nutritional requirements of your bodies sexy funtimes output. Also Money help you stay clean and shit and if you’ve ever had a gross dick in your mouth you know that shits important. So yeah, Money just means take care of your shit.

Pride…pride is the hard one. Because while the other two are bad if you focus on them literally to the exclusion of all else your life will suffer, pride will ruin you twice as fast with half the effort. Having no pride is pointless. You’re life becomes worthless because you have given yourself no worth and if you don’t you can trust no one else will. Pride is more than that though…it’s the top two layers of Maslow’s hierarchy. It’s the thing that really makes life lived, or as he put it, actualized. Pride in one’s work and a feeling of accomplishment is the first step. That self esteem of feeling, yeah, I am good, I can do shit, woo, thats a good and necessary feeling if you don’t want to be trapped in a depression spiral. But Pride in your life, Pride in your purpose. That’s the true separation. Taking pride in that the actions you are doing have the results you want to see in the world, that’s the ideal worship…

But Pride is a fickle little bitch mistress. Spend too much time at this idol and you may lose the ability to do others because of excess pride. Even worse is a faking a worship as false pride is the most offensive thing to any discerning individual and the biggest handicap in ever really worshiping at any of the three pillars. And perhaps worse still is pride in the wrong things. Pride of things you haven’t done, family name, racial background, country of origin. Pride of association is so dangerous because it can be so acceptable and fine…when you recognize that it is pride you have in others and not self pride. When you don’t though it is false pride as any other…but one that is so hard to see.

The worst bit of pride though? Even if it’s deserved, real, pride in one’s actions and purpose, it can still lead you down a bad path. Trying to defend your pride is so very very human…and so very very useless. Pride is an internal thing. It can not be affected by any outside action and letting another’s words or thoughts determine how you feel about yours simply dilutes it to a lesser form. True prayer here means you do not concern yourself with anything be your actions and whether they achieve your purpose. Pride is Game theory deified.
I don’t have a good wrap up to this rant, so I guess peace out. Be good and live that PMP life player.


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