https://www.facebook.com/brandon.a.ross.3/posts/10211209965777786
Some words written by my friend, teammate, and captain Brandon Ross have been on my mind lately.
Violence for the sake of violence. There are violent sports in our modern world. Most with the distraction of an object and a goal. A ball, a puck and, some kind of goal line or net. To me, these are things that distract from the true nature of sport and competition. My sport IS violence. When I fight I become violence. I crave it. I train for it. Violence is my job, it is my essence, it is my one true and honest form. No remorse, no holding back, no room for weakness. It is freedom! I am on the field to give and receive violence freely. We meet as equals, violence determines the victor. Violence is my name. P.S. You approval and/or acceptance is not required.
Honestly I’ve been thinking about this whole concept alot lately. About the level of savagery necessary for our sport. About the dichotomy of wanting to kill an opponent but also hoping their armor will turn your blow. The purity of violence and the clarity of a need to hurt, break, destroy that which opposes you. There are many people who embrace and embody the part of the sport that channels our inner beasts. Simon Rohrich has spoken on it alot. Paul Friedel talks about it via his”brutaltalitarism” idea.
The avatar of violence I always looked to was Brandon. I watched as one of the nicest kindest men I knew transformed into a personification of battle lust. I saw the release of letting go and also got to see how that can be controlled, channeled, but still worshiped. Though perhaps that is too hyperbolic a word I think there is an aspect of this that is almost prayer at the altar of bloodsport. or perhaps even the altar of War itself, though that may trivialize the truth of that ultimate conflict. I have never been to war and so should not speak on it.
I so know this sport though and I have learned the ways of savagery in it, from many teachers. I hope Cat Brooks and Jaye Travis Brooks Sr. take it as the compliment I mean when I say the cultivated the sadist in me. Mangler with his unassuming tales of utter badassery and how he spoke of the need so casually made me less afraid of it. Tom Courtney, an SCA duke, who essentially told me I’d also be weak when I swung if I was scared to hurt folks.
It was Brandon though, who’s very presence in the list spoke of violence. Every. Single. Time. I’ve looked him in the eye as he tried to break me, axe in hand, bearing down on me like some butcher of old ready to slaughter. The no nonsense walk of a man with a job, but the under it the demeanor of a hunger for the hurt. He fights as a man with one mission above all. Blood for the Blood God. Skulls for the Skull throne. Sometimes I get there and truly those are the moments I fight for more than any glory or victory. The moments of fully embracing my rage, my fury…and my love of violence.
Some will say this is an ugly aspect and outside of the sport I do not know that I disagree. Even in the sport there will be those who think it is not to given the place of esteem of which I try to elevate it. There are claims that it makes us seem unsophisticated and lessons the sport. There are worries that it leads to unneeded danger and that we are more likely to cause permanent or long lasting injury with that ethos. There are people who feel it is simply immoral. That taking too much joy in the violence or that looking and seeking the violence for the sake of it is BAD WRONG FUN. I disagree and honestly don’t care. There is clear consent by all participants, so what need for a debate?
I’ve spent the last few months or..perhaps years at this point, thinking of ways to improve the sport for spectators. How to focus it, how to package it, how to make it presentable and understandable. I’ve been working on ways to sportify it, to steal a term from HEMA. Many of these ideas though, the ones that make it more palatable… I begin to wonder if they take away from this essence, this purity that drew me in so completely.
I begin to wonder if there is a way to not only preserve the violence but improve it. Can that distilled essence be made even stronger, more pure? It’s well known how the armor we use makes strikes less effective and depending on the context can even make them next to useless. And while our grappling is about dominance, strength, controlled aggression, and savage skill, it is still simply for the sport goal of getting them to touch the ground.
Is there a way to make it closer to a fight purely to yield or inability to continue? Can we push in the opposite direction of more watchable at the same time? Can we improve the experience of the fighter as well? Can we do this with separate rules for a more 90’s XXtreme style fight? Or perhaps there is even a way to make a better viewed version that also elevates the violence a few notches?
Or perhaps this is all foolish and bohurt is perfect as it is…or even too violent and my fetishization of it as blood sport is antiquated notion and a fantasy of privileged fool who’s never seen and lived the real thing…I have no conclusion here. Just things been kicking in my head and I wanted to get them out.
Also I love Brandon’s words and really wanted an excuse to share them again 😛
Life As A Swordsman 